Why does Good Girl like Bad Boy?

Women only want men who are going to slap them around and treat them like….

Well, you know the rest.

This seems to be a common sentiment among many self-proclaimed “good guys” who have become more and more discouraged in love and with members of their opposite sex. Why is that? And, better question: Is it true?

Do women really want and intentionally seek a man who is physically, emotionally and/or psychologically abusive?

Not exactly.

Because of some women’s pasts and/or relationships (or lack thereof) with their fathers, yes, some do inadvertently and subconsciously tend to be drawn to those types of individuals and romantic relationships, but that’s for a whole other opinion piece. Generally speaking…most women do not purposely seek such a malicious person to share their lives with. Ironically, far more often the case than should be, women do tend to nevertheless end up with - or at the very least spend way too much time, energy and love on - these types of men.

And on the flip-side, just as many of the previously mentioned self-proclaimed “good guys” often argue, are there actually more women than not who don’t really give the time of day to the kinds of men who will sweep her off her feet, catch her when she falls, be the shoulder to her sobs and love her unconditionally, respectfully and indefinitely? And, in continuing with the popular belief: For the women who do give these kinds of men the time of day, do they maybe only do so long enough to soon take him for granted and in someway mistreat him?

Perhaps.
And the “good guys” want to know, why?

Well, it can mostly be explained by a phenomenon that not only men, but even many women can’t completely understand and don’t even ever come to realize, themselves.

It’s like this:

For many women, the trick when searching for love is to find a man with a balance. One who is funny, sweet, sensitive, respectful, considerate and affectionate…and even better, has an interest in children and a healthy and positive relationship with his mother (or at least his family as a whole)….but who is also confident, strong, assertive and aggressive (to a certain extent), passionate, exciting and possesses a certain amount of pride and dignity about himself.

Unfortunately, anyone who’s been on the dating scene and on the lookout for “Mr.” or “Mrs. Right”…knows that you have a much better chance of running into an entire extraterrestrial family on a routine trip to the supermarket than you are to actually meet an available person with every single quality of your own individual preference. So, with that said…

Many times, women - especially those young and still growing - tend to place heavier weight on the latter-mentioned preferred qualities because they’re all more associated with what many women generally want their man to be, when it all comes down to it: a super-masculine protector and provider.

And for better or for worse, these same latter-mentioned qualities that most women hopelessly seek ironically happen to reside in some of the worst of men, and sometimes in heavy amounts. And those qualities aren’t just limited to the worst of men…but even the “not so good” ones - the guys who may not be the nicest…may not be the friendliest…but they are nevertheless very sure of themselves, go after what they want and fear little to nothing or no one. And in some twisted kind of way, this to a female becomes significantly more attractive than a guy who is just…nice.

Then you have the “good guy” who many times might either have very low amounts of these same kinds of “confident and aggressor” qualities or none at all….although he may be the sweetest, most considerate - and all that other good stuff - guy in the universe. The end result: his passiveness, over-eagerness, extreme shyness and/or in some cases, low self-esteem end up only negating his several fairytale-ish “prince charming” qualities.

This concept might not make complete sense to particularly the really and genuine good men out there…but there’s much truth and logic to it. Bottom line: Women don’t want jerks…but they also don’t want “good guys” who don’t have much of a backbone or don’t know how to live life.

Women want a balance…but since the balance is quite rare, many times, confidence - and the like - rule out, and hence you have in the end: a “good girl” with a “bad boy.”

This isn’t to justify or condone the popularity of such an odd attraction - or to give the “bad boys” (or the “good girls” who put up with them, for that matter) a break - but more so to to try to sort of explain and help some to understand the method behind the madness.

I’ve often screamed to my many “good guy” friends and acquaintances who have at some point or another told me that they were just going to “turn bad” to finally get the attention they “deserve” by giving women what they seem to want, “Don’t do it!”

It is really not that serious for two reasons: #1, you’d be changing yourself for the worst to an extreme, only to in a way try to please someone else…all the while #2, helping to continue an already vicious cycle: boy burns girl who burns boy who burns girl, and so forth and so on.

Why turn for the worst and eliminate all of the wonderful things that make you a rare - and appreciated more than you realize - gem? Why not instead just hold on to the best of you and in the meantime, step it up a notch…and if possible, be the balance?